Homemade Coconut Milk

Since I had a whole coconut that the girls weren't going to eat I decided to try something a little different and make coconut milk.

First you put the coconut pieces into a food processor and chop them up into small bits. I had never actually used the food processor mom had given me, so this step took me the longest since I couldn't figure out how to use it and mom had to talk me through via the phone. I also ended up spraying chopped coconut all over the kitchen, but if you know how to use your food processor, this step would be fairly easy.

After you get all the coconut chopped into pieces you then blend it with very hot water. You add just enough water to cover the coconut. I only have an immersion blender, so I had to do mine in small batches.

When you get done, this is what you have.

It has a lot of chunky coconut in it, so it has to be strained.

The next step can be done by either letting it strain through a cheese cloth or putting it through a juicer. Since I have a juicer and not a cheese cloth, I used that, but I think a cheese cloth would actually work better, since I still had to put it through a sieve because the juicer left it kind of grainy tasting.

I ended up with a little over two cups of coconut milk. I thought it tasted pretty good, but Lucy didn't like it.


I also ended up with a cup and a half of dry, finely shredded coconut that can be used for cooking.

And here is a picture of Lucy because she spent the whole time begging for me to take her picture.

If we drank a lot of coconut milk I think I would make it this way because it only took about 20 minutes and that includes the time spent trying to work the food processor. We don't, so I probably won't do this again, but I am going to freeze the coconut milk and put it in smoothies or maybe make a vegan chocolate pudding out of it.

Me vs The Coconut

On Saturday Lilly convinced me to buy a coconut because she has been wanting to try a fresh one. I only gave in because it said on the little tag that it was easy open with a crack already in it.

That was totally false advertisement. It was not easy open. Not at all.

The instructions said to get and ice pick, stick it into the crack on the coconut, bang on it with a hammer and it will pop right open. My problems start right then because who, besides murders and ice sculptors keeps ice picks? Now days ice usually comes in handy little squares, there is no need to chip ice off large blocks, so no need to keep an ice pick around the house.

So I decided to use another sharp, pointed object: a knife.

Ends up that doesn't work too well and since I have a history of almost cutting off fingers with sharp knives, I decided to give up on that method after a couple of close calls.

My next move was to take it outside and hit it with the hammer and see if I could break it into chunks.

It didn't work. Seems like it would have.

By this time Lilly was saying encouraging things like "The people on tv never have this much trouble."

I ponder more on how to get it open.

I finally decide to get the cast iron pan and bash the coconut with it repeatedly until it breaks or I give up. Either way I would be getting a good arm workout.

It works. Finally this coconut is open.

The girls are excited, the dog is looking at me like I have lost my mind and the cats are just really annoyed that I disturbed their nap and it didn't even involve food they liked.

With much joy we picked up the coconut pieces, took them inside, rinsed them off for the girls to finally try.

They both hate it. It involved gagging and choking and acting like they were being poisoned.

So know I have a whole fresh coconut and I'm the only one who eats it.